Santa!

In our home, Santa is not a huge deal but we still have the tradition of going to see him every Christmas. This year Jaylin knew who he was so it was a lot of fun to build the anticipation of seeing Santa. Aaron was not as excited...

After trying to sit Aaron on Santa's lap, I gave up and decided to have a family shot. The funny thing is that Aaron loves to walk around the house saying, "Ho, ho, ho..." over and over agian. He even goes nuts when he sees a Santa on t.v., but when he was face to face with the guy....he lost it.

So, here is our night with Santa...

I know that I should have had my eyes closed during prayer time, but Jaylin was just too cute...so I snuck a picture in. Too bad he's peeking too :)

Jaylin and Papaw playing some games...

Preparing...

A couple of months ago, my close and dear friend Andrea sent me Angie Smith's blog Bring the Rain. This blog has come to mean so much to me. My heart resonates with her pain as she prepared to lose her daughter. You should read it, see the link to the right on this blog.

Realizing that my time is coming to an end, I am doing my best to prepare my heart and mind for this life-changing event. In Angie's blog she writes about the adventures that she took her daughter on while she was still pregnant with her. I too want to treasure every moment I have with my children, to savor every last second I have with them. I have been thinking about our little adventures...flying to Cali, Disneyland, our trip to Texas, swimming at Papaw and Grandmas, Super Papaw moments, dancing in our living room...so many sweet memories. Moments, treasured in my heart forever. I will miss so many things about my children. Their laughter around the dinner table, dancing in the car to I am Free, little things that bring joy to our day.

Throughout this process I have sought wisdom from scripture. When I was called to the witness stand, I thought of Esther walking into her court room and wondered if she felt the same passion to stand for her people as I did for my children. I have thought of how Sarah must have felt when Abraham took Isaac up to the mountain. Lately though I have sought the heart of Hannah when she dedicated Samuel to the temple. Did her heart break as mine does? When she spoke these words, "As surely as you live, my lord, I am the woman who stood here beside you praying to the Lord. I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the Lord" did she cry?

Yesterday we had a meeting with DCS. I knew that this meeting would consist of talking about the transition from my home to the birth parents. I have had tremendous peace about this, although I have spent time crying and mourning this loss. My wise mother reminded me that God will protect the boys whether they are in my home or the birth parents. This has come to mean so much to me. After all of the specifics of this transition was discussed, we all stood up to put our coats on, when all of a sudden I burst into tears. I had held it together so well, but I couldn't leave that room until I shared with the parents how much I have loved their children. Immedietely the birth mother started crying also. It was as if we all had kept the sadness that lingered in our hearts inside and then the flood gates opened wide to reveal the pain and suffering that we all have faced in the past twenty months

Then, words that I never thought I would hear, brokeness that I never thought I would see, came forth from the birth mother. She asked everyone to leave except for her social worker and myself. She shared that she is in stage eight and nine of N.A. and needed to apoligize for the hatred she had towards me. She hated me for raising her children and that they loved and trusted me more than her. Then she began to thank me for raising her children. She gave details of how her children are where they are today because of being in my home. Now, I am not saying these things to brag, but to show her remorse and appreciation.

The best part, and the part that softened my heart and revealed God's hand throughout this entire process, is when she asked what kind of church I attend. Did you read that?? She asked about church!!!! Jaylin has been going to their home and telling Bible stories and now they want to find a church to attend! Every week he shares a new scripture or a new story that we have read about with his parents...

simply

amazing!

So, now I look at scripture and read about David. A young boy with faith to knock down giants. How amazing it is to know that it is a three year-old little boy who is piercing the hearts of a drug addict and alcoholic...

The words of God are strong and active in the hearts of those who follow Him

...even little boys!

So although I am so sad about this loss, I know that God will be strong and mighty in these little boys. As a mother, losing a child is so painful, but knowing that my children know God and will be used to teach their parents gives me much hope.

None of this would have been possible without so many of you... My family, my parents, our friends...you have impacted these children to such depths we may not fully understand until we meet Christ and see what He saw.

Prayer is powerful!

Scripture is powerful!

Thank God for the work He has done in and through each of you.

Christmas Photos!

It's that time of year again when I dress the boys up in their Christmas outfits, place them in front of the tree and make them be happy. It's usually a horrible experience in which I find myself getting very frustrated, losing my patience, and then having two little guys losing their control and patience with me. Why do we do this to ourselves?? I bet if we were to send out real Christmas cards, they would all have children crying. But who would want to see that?!?!

Anyway, thanks to photo shop, we now have a lovely Christmas card coming your way :)! Here are a few of our "bloopers"...enjoy!

This one almost made the card...come on, it would be funny to get a fancy card with two kids going crazy on it!

Mondays

I love Mondays!

Not because it marks the beginning of the week in which I am busy molding the minds of young adolescents (ha!), but because my favorite shows are on TV. The Hills (partially because it's my last name and because I find their shallow lives humorous), 17 Kids and Counting (come on--they're fascinating!) and the greatest show the of the week...Jon and Kate Plus 8!

Now, I know what you are going to say..."Jon and Kate fight too much. Or, she is SO mean!" Ya, well it's still the number one watched show on TLC and I love it. Yes, they do fight more than I like to watch, but they are a real family. I love that she is super organized...because I am not but I hope to be someday. I love that they have scriptures posted all over their house...because my mom does the same thing. I love that they travel with their children...because I love to travel with my children. I love that they have family fun nights...because someday my kiddos are going to have a concert night too. I love that they eat organic...because we try to eat organic. And I love that they have multiple kids the same age as my oldest...because it makes me feel like my job as a mom can be done! Most of all, I love that they are Christians and make their relationship with Christ real.

This Monday night Jon and Kate will renew their vows. What a testimony to marriage and committment. I have invited some friends over and we are going to have reception to celebrate the marriage of our good friends Jon and Kate.

...and maybe I secretly want 8 kids too...wait a minute...that's not a secret :)

By the way, I did purchase Jon and Kate Gosselin's new book and it is FABULOUS! I thought I knew a lot about them from their show on TLC, but there is so much more. Buy it and you'll enjoy it too!

Rescue Heroes!

If you were stop by our home on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon you would most likely hear a fire fighter or coast guard saving a life of an injured person, and Jaylin quoting everyone line on his favorite series "Rescue Heroes". Months ago my mom gave Jaylin his first Rescue Hero and video. These are action heroes that save people's lives instead of just fighting bad guys. Jaylin LOVES them! In fact, he lives the stories out in our every day life. Getting out of the van isn't just jumping out of the van, it's jumping off a cliff into rushing water to save mommy from drowning. My hero! Who knew that life could be so much fun :)

Well, over the last 22 weeks, Uncle Matthew has been training to be a REAL rescue hero! This past Thursday we celebrated Matthew's graduation from IFD. It was so exciting and we are SO proud of him. Jaylin said that he is ready to be a fire fighter now...I said he might want to be a little bigger.

For I knew you before you were born...

I'm not gonna lie...the foundation for my decision on who to vote for lies with social issues. Specifically, the politician's stand on abortion.



One of the higlights of this election was when Rick Warren invited both McCain and Obama to his church and asked some very real and pointed questions. I wasn't completely sure what I thought of McCain until this interview (I was a huge Huckabee fan). However, I was blown away by McCain's character and solid belief that all life is sacred. This was shown in his political voting, his large family, and the adoption of his daughter from India.



What I was blown away by that night was Obama's response to when life begins. He stumbled over his words, didn't answer the question, and lied about his stand on late term abortions. He is a complete supporter of Planned Parenthood and backed them up time after time. It makes me sad.



In my mind, if a president doesn't hold the innocence of life sacred, then how will he/she react to the job of protecting all people. I am the mother of two children, who could have very easily been aborted. I often think how different life would be if Aaron's life had been taken away from his in the midst of caios that his biological mother was experiencing. I am so glad that God protected this little boy!



Here is a link to a great video clip of that interview.

http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=f95803f9097ee87b3718.

A Gallery Event

Many people have the desire to adopt, but don't know where to start. In 2001 an artist in New Mexico captured the essence of some very special children. These children desired to be adopted. Since that time, cities all over America have hosted Heart Galleries in hopes of finding forever homes for children.

In the spring I had the opportunity to attend my first Heart Gallery in Bakersfield, California. How excited I was then, to see that Traders Point Christian Church has opened it's doors to host a gallery for the next couple of weeks.

This is a great event and I encourage all of you to spread the word.

Remembering...

Today is National Day of Remembrance for Pregnancy and Infant Loss. I didn't even know this day existed until yesterday when I scrolled through my favorite blogs and saw that Angie Smith (Bring the Rain blog) listed this special day. My family has experienced this kind of loss more often then we would ever like. It is hard and painful.

One of my heart songs lately has been, Bring the Rain by Mercy Me. I have listed it on my playlist below for your hearts enjoyment. I find it ironic that it has rained, dark and heavy today. It's been a sad day--lots of weeping. In the song, Bring the Rain, he sings about how in our mourning we draw closer to God. Isn't that so true?! I find such strength from Jesus when he says, "I turned to you and heard your cry."-Psalm 40:1 and "Out of the depths I heard you cry to me, I heard your voice, I am listening, and I will bring you mercy."-Psalm 130:1 and 2.

May we continue to feel God's mercy shower down on us in our weeping. May we curl up in His lap and give it all back to our Father, who is so close to us when we are sad.

The Doctor Is In!

My boys love to play "Dr. Jaylin and Dr. Aaron". For Christmas, Grandma and Papaw bought a doctor's kit for them to play with. In the medical kit, there are a pair of glasses that when you put them on the same magic that is in fairy dust comes over you and you become a real live doctor. Who needs 8 years of medical school when having a pair of glasses will do the trick?!?! If you are a med. student, come on over and pick up a pair :)

Anyway, the other night Jaylin went to bed early so Aaron had full reign of the doctor kit. And of course, the first thing he pulled out were the glasses. We then went through all of the other pieces, including opening your mouth and saying "ahh". Our doctor, who is absolutely wonderful, laughs every time he sees Aaron--he knows to open his mouth and to say "ahh". Jaylin reminds our doctor that he is Dr. Jaylin at home and checks all of our mouths. Such a protector!

Dancing

Some people have asked what we do for fun at our house...well, we dance :) That's right, we break out the iPod and dance all over the house.

A couple of years ago, a lady named Jenny gave her testimony at our church. She is a very gifted actress and dancer. In her testimony she shared how when she became a Christian, she thought she would have to give up dancing--one of her greatest pleasures and passions. She goes on to share how God revealed to her that dancing is worship to Him. She now dances for Christ. Something about the way she shared her testimony has always stuck with me. I decided I wanted my house to worship in dancing.

Psalm 149:3 says "Let them praise His name with dancing..."

I have included a clip of our dancing. My boys know who they are dancing for. If you are ever riding in our car and the song I Am Free comes on, you will see the boys really break down. I will video tape this soon and get it up on here. I think laughter and dancing can go together...espeically when your one-year-old is heading banging to "I am free to run, I am free to dance..." Hilarious!

Thanks Jenny for sharing from your heart!

Christmas in October?

I LOVE the fall season! It is just about perfect...cool in the evening with red, orange, bright yellow leaves changing into a beautiful display of color. The grass is dark green and jeans and sweaters are pulled out of the back of the closet. There is nothing but love for the change occuring outside. Perfection, God!

However, the boys and I were recently shopping and I noticed that Christmas decorations, music, and gifts were already sprouting about in the stores. Isn't it wonderful!?! I have mixed feelings about this. I mean I love Christmas, but I also LOVE the fall. To compromise between the two, I think I will decorate my house with fall colors while listening to Christmas music--that's right, we listen to Christmas music all of the time :)

A couple of years ago I stumbled upon a great song by Steven Curtis Chapman. This was the Christmas before I got the boys and I was obsessed with learning so much about adoption and foster care while preparing my heart for what was to come. This song still strengthens my soul and speaks to me. I hope you enjoy it! Just click on the link below.



You may need to pause my playlist to listen to the song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mnRNP0Qipws

A Glimpse of the Slums

This past Friday night we headed over to church to see a mock slum community. I am so excited about where my church is heading. Our minister Aaron has started a new series on getting the church outside of the building. It has been refreshing and stretching. Being a foster mom has become so much of my life that seeing and hearing of other missions and people serving God in other areas has been really refreshing.

Do you ever get the itch to travel to some African tribal nation, sleep in tents, see huge disgusting bugs that you are so sure are going to kill you or give you some crazy disease that will require drugs to cure, all the while seeing our beautiful God at work in the sounds of little children singing wonderful songs to the same God you sing to in America?

I remember the first time I went on a mission trip outside of the US. We were in Mexico. My first experience of true poverty. There was a little baby about two years old. Her name was Margarita and she had down syndrome. Her grandmother told me that the doctors told them they should place her in a school or put her up for adoption--because she would be a burden. That statement has always stuck with me...she would be a burden. How amazing was it that this family, who believes and serves God, knew that God loved Margarita and they would too--a belief that has been a corner stone in my own family. I am so glad that I serve a God that doesn't see me as a burden and in turn has adopted me as His daughter.

Back to the Slum Night...one of the most interesting conversations I had was with a sixth grade student named Meghan. I had asked her if she had told her friends about this event, and she proudly said yes. Sadly though, most of her friends and classmates didn't know what the slums were. She was so put off by their ignorance that she took the time to educate them. What a warrior! As she went on talking about poverty, malaria, and so on, I couldn't help but think that this young girl has more wisdom from God than most people twice her age. What a legacy her parents have given her. It is so evident that God has pursued her heart and won.

A couple of weeks ago I heard a new song by Brandon Heath. It's a powerful song that resonates so much what God is teaching me right now. I've including it on my playlist...I hope you enjoy it!

Going to Wal-Mart

It never fails that half way through the week we have to make a trip to Walmart or Kroger. Last week was no exception. We have been going to Kroger to "spice up" our grocery shopping adventures (trust me--with two boys ages 3 and 1, a trip to the grocery store is an adventure) but Jaylin has had two full-blown tantrums in Kroger so we have to lay low for awhile before we return there. Anyway, I decided to go to Wal-Mart later in the evening so as to fight some of the rush hour traffic. This meant that Jaylin had already been home and changed into...action, super-hero, rock star costume complete with puppy dog slippers, a Lowes workshop apron turned backwards to create a cape, and a flimsy-yellow-plastic-basket for a helmet, all while holding his Elmo guitar. He had informed me that later on that night he would be with his band in the play room for a concert. Now, I knew that I should have had him change back into his normal clothes, but that was a battle I just wasn't willing to have that night...so we trotted off to Wal-Mart, costume and all.

As we walked into the store, Jaylin said his usual greetings to the welcome dude at the entrance of the store. "Hi! My name is Jaylin and this is my little brother, Aaron. And this is my mommy." This night, however, he added, "I'm a super-hero band player." The greeter chuckled and gave him a smiley face sticker. I'm pretty sure they are best friends now.

While shopping Jaylin strutted behind, looking at all of the wonders that Wal-Mart offers. As I dodged the usual "Can I have this mommy?" questions, I filled my cart with the essential items needed to get us through the week. As we reached the check-out counter, the real amusement began. Jaylin was standing in the cart, when all of a sudden he broke out in song..."I love my brother, yeah yeah yeah. I love Wal-Mart, yeah yeah yeah...." Needless to say, this caught a lot of attention. I think a star was born!