Love

Wow...it's been a long time since I posted anything.
Life has been excitingly (is that a word?? If not, I just created a word--someone call Noah) busy :)


Let's recap what has been going on...in March of this year I met the most wonderful, perfect-for-me man of my dreams. We quickly fell in love and committed our lives to one another...forever! In just a little while I will be Mrs. Jennifer Ford...and I can't wait!

When I first met Brian I was impressed with how much trust and love he had for Christ. His strong walk impressed me because I knew he had the potential of being a strong spiritual leader for a family. Then I melted when he explained that he fought for complete custody of his two daughters. Then the Saturday before Easter, we went on our first date. I think we were both very nervous...but we talked for hours and hours and a deep friendship grew. Later that week Brian called me up and asked to meet for coffee. I remember we sat in a Starbucks for hours and I realized that I would some day marry him. When I got in my car I called my sister Amy and best friend LaMonica and told them I just had coffee with my future husband.

Our relationship grew and grew fast! Everything I had ever prayed for in a husband came to be answered in Brian. I was just amazed at how many prayers had been answered and realized that the many, many years of praying had finally come to be. Ladies, continue to pray for your future husband, and be faithful to God...for God is preparing the perfect time for you two to meet.

On May 4th, I woke up with a horrible sore throat. I felt horrible, achy and sick. I went to school but told the secretary that I wouldn't be in the next day. On May 5th, Cinco de Mayo, I went to the doctor and found out I had strep throat--yuck! Brian, the ever protecting and concerned boyfriend, called or text me all morning to see how I was doing. I told him that I was staying home and resting. At about noon that day, I was laying on the couch and saw Brian come to the front door. I went to get up to greet him, but he insisted that I stay on the couch. He knelt down, which I thought was because I was laying on the couch, but then he shared some sweet words while pulling out an engagement ring. He then asked me to marry him! I, of course, said yes :) More things were said, but those are too precious and private to share.

It has been a whirlwind engagement. We have set up home at my house so that the girls can start school this year--I've moved into my parents house. We are eagerly awaiting our wedding day...excited to start our life together.

When the boys left, I missed being a mom so much. There is just something extra special about being a mom to precious children. I feel so blessed to have such wonderful daughters. God has been so good to us!

We are getting married on October 3rd!

Brilliantly Beautiful

My junior year in high school I went to Florida with my church youth group for Spring Break. On this particular year, Easter fell on the first Sunday we were there. That Easter was a very important one...





On that Sunday, we woke up really early and headed to the beach. I remember it was chilly and so we were wrapped in blankets and sweatshirts. When we gathered at the beach, we sat in a circle around a cross made in the sand. We then talked about the death and resurrection of Christ. It wasn't a sermon, but a talk, a conversation of the reality of what Christ endured. Needless to say, there was a lot of silence...and then solitude.





We were given bread and juice and were encouraged to spread across the beach for a time to spend with God.





I was holding the communion in one hand, my Bible in the other, while sitting on a blanket looking out at the vastness of the Gulf of Mexico. I was taking in God...

It was a heart-centered Easter. The depth of death, pain and love that Christ has for me became more real during that day and week spent in Florida.

This Easter, this glorious Easter will be a powerful, life-changing, grace-filled Easter much like the one experienced so long ago on the beach.

As many of you know, my children (foster children) went home on January 2nd to their birth parents. I experienced such a depth of sadness and mourning over this loss...I hope to never experience that again.

However, and to God's glory alone, life has been profound and beautiful again. A little over a month ago my little Jaylin, through a series of situations, brought his mom and Aaron to church. I love this little guy! The way this story unravels, is truly a love story authored by God.

Aaron, our minister, was finishing up a series on grace. Sadness and public crying had kept me home for a couple of weeks. Not because I didn't want people to show compassion, I just wasn't ready to face church, life, friends, etc. without children. It was just hard. When I came back, however, Aaron was teaching the reality and goodness of giving grace. For two weeks, I sat in my seat and cried as he explained from scripture what it means to give grace. I didn't want to be grace-filled at that moment. I was hurt and angry that a judge would force me to show grace to people who had hurt their children...children whom I loved!

On the final week of Grace, and through Jaylin's need to be with my family, Jenny and the boys came to Traders Point. That Sunday was about salvation. I was floored by what God was pouring out through Aaron. I could literally feel the prayers of my family and friends as we sat around Jenny. I was so eager to know all afternoon what she was thinking, but I didn't feel prompted by the Holy Spirit to ask. My spirit was telling me to sit quietly and pray.

At 7:35pm that Sunday night, Jenny called. The first words out of her mouth were questions on accepting Christ and being baptized. I was standing in my bedroom when I got that call and I literally fell to my knees. I couldn't believe that this was happening...all glory to God!

After talking for a long time, she asked if I would mind picking her the boys up for church every Sunday...of course I said, Yes! Every week our conversations grow deeper in God and in friendship. She loves spending time with the Mayer/Hills clan and isn't intimidated by our loudness and political talks :) She craves the wholeness of being part of a family. She is our newest adoption!

Although we have been talking about her baptism for awhile, we have finally set the date for this Easter. When everything was set, the word Glorious kept running through my mind. This isn't a word I use...ever. So, to have it run through my mind constantly was a strange sensation. The dictionary defines glorious as:

delightful; wonderful; completely enjoyable; full of glory; entitled to great renown; brilliantly beautiful or magnificent; splendid

The brilliantly beautiful part rings so very true. Seeing God move in this way, seeing Jenny give her life to Christ, and seeing this family build a foundation on truth founded by God is Glorious, brilliantly beautiful.

To be brutally honest, I have struggled with understanding The Parable of the Lost Son...until now. In the past, I always resonated with the son that stayed home and was "responsible". After all, he didn't squander his inheritance and he was faithful to his family and did what was right. However, I have seen in Jenny what the grace for the other son looked like--I will not run off angry like the other son did, but will instead take hold of this grace...the same grace I need from God! And now, there is NO turning back...

"But while she was still a long way off, her father saw her and was filled with compassion for her; he ran to his daughter, threw his arms around her and kissed her." Luke 15:20 (with revisions).

So this Easter will be Glorious!

Glasses...

Friday night Bridget and I grabbed some Starbucks and headed over to Methodist Hospital to celebrate Kristi's 3 year T-Day (Transplant Day). She was in high spirits and up, out of bed. While sitting in her luxurious hospital suite, I decided that we would now refer to her room as her NYC apartment over looking the city lights...aka downtown Indy. Actually it is a really nice view at night...

The last time Kristi was at Methodist, I didn't take many pictures (actually none...). So this time we all put our glasses on and had a little photo party. Kristi looks awesome! We are SO ready for her to be home...

Thank you for your prayers! Kristi is a walking miracle :)

Bridget, Kristi, and I

A Great Weekend!

My best friend, LaMonica, came to Indy this past weekend. We had a blast! On October 31, 1985 the Hills met the Hillbergs and LaMonica and I have been close friends since that night. She is amazing and I always learn something new when I am around her.

We had a packed weekend of going to The Flying Cupcake (twice), dinner in, dinner out, the Children's Museum, and lots of good talks. Since we have known each other for so long, she is more like a sister than just a friend. My family adores her too!

This is her youngest son, Asher. He is adorable!

Doing what she does best...being a midwife. It was very exciting to hear the heartbeat of Laurel's little baby. Ellie was very curious...



We took Matthew and Reagan to the Flying Cupcake...definitely a favorite around here.

I can't wait to go out to Cali in June!

Girls night on Friday...lots of laughter! From left to right: Amy, Lissa, LaMonica and me. We had a great time looking at Lissa's wedding plans, talking about life, and discussing future competitions...

Kristi

This is my very good friend, Kristi! She is a fantastic fighter! This coming March 6th will mark an important date in her life--3 years of breathing strong with new lungs!

She has recently undergone some tests that show some disappointing news...however, she is a fighter! I fully believe that she will overcome this new obstacle and will continue to do amazing things!

She could use your prayers though...please pray for her and support her through words of encouragement! Feel free to drop her a note at kwringler@aol.com

Thanks, friends!

Working Hard...

I really do work hard...I promise!

Today is my friend Amanda's last day before she goes on maternity leave. So, another friend and myself are sending her off in style :)

Praying for you Amanda!

California Girls...

A couple of years ago I went to see the home I grew up in. If you have moved in your lifetime then I encourage you to go back to visit the places you have lived...

Just before I went into first grade, my family moved from Cincinnati, Ohio to Bakersfield, California. We lived there until I was in sixth grade. I loved living in California. Not because it was California, but because I had great friends and everything I knew
about life revolved around living at 2709 Catalina Dr. Bakersfield, CA 93306. Here is a picture of my old house...btw, we didn't have skeletons or tacky Halloween decorations up when we lived there.

What a life! Lots of first...six, first days of school; my first sister, Amy, was born; I watched my first rated R movie (which I kept a secret from my parents for years!); first boyfriend, Fabio; first experience of camp; first time toilet papering someone's home/cabin; first perm (never get those...); first sleep-over; first time being grounded; first water skiing experience (almost died); it is where I learned to swim; it is where I learned to pray, to read the Bible, and was baptized. Lots of firsts...

On October 31, 1985 I was dressed up as a princess, being escorted into a white Suburban, where I met my very best friend, LaMonica. We had just moved to California, it was Halloween and we were invited to go Trick-o-Treating with a family from church. From that night until now, LaMonica and I have been good friends. It amazes me that this year will mark our 24th year being friends. She is an amazing woman of God, an awesome mother to 8 children, a hard worker, caring midwife, and a best friend. Recently, she has become a rock of strength in my life. She has been a foster mom for many, many years and is able to give lots of advice. Simply...wonderful!


This is the church where I was baptized...it was called University Avenue Christian Church. I think it's now called Great Beginnings...the old name was better.

Staying Warm...

A little after 5am this morning I received a wonderful call from my good friend Bridget, announcing that today is a Snow Day! Immediate delight in the form of a huge smile ran across my face. I love that my job is cancelled when the weather outside is frightful!

I prayed, as I do every winter, that a snow day might happen...and I had a plan of what I would do if this day came. That's right...I'm goal oriented! Today, after sleeping in to the ripe hour of 9:30 in the morning. I got up, checked my email, perused Facebook, wrote a note in Facebook, called my mom to see if she was okay (she just had surgery on Monday), took a shower and then set off to work on my plan. My goal by this afternoon was to sip a fresh cup of coffee while reading a good book.

The first thing on my list was to shovel my driveway. This summer will mark my 5th year living in this house and I have never shoveled my own driveway. Not due to lack of wanting to clear the driveway, but because I have wonderful neighbors who always clear it before I get out there. So, now I am making cookies for them. I think it's a sweet trade off--haha!

Since that task was marked off of my list, I went straight to the second. Laundry! I hate doing laundry! But, I have made an oath on a pile of dirty clothes that I vow to keep up with them in 2009. So far, so good. A load is drying as I type these words.

Between the laundry and cookie baking, I have cleaned the bathrooms, loaded and started the dish washer, and organized my room. I have finished another day in my Beth Moore Esther book and I organized my IPod songs and added a few new ones.

Now those close to me are wondering what is wrong...after all, you know that I am not this driven to clean my house on a normal basis. Well, silence. A quiet home leads to thinking about the boys and that can be painful. It has been three and a half weeks since they left. And although I feel so blessed to have spent time with them and to talk to them, my heart still hurts for them. Please remember them in your prayers...

The other day I was going through my DVDs and came across Prince Caspian. I love this book! The movie was shallow in comparison to the depth that the book holds. However, I did love the music video by Switchfoot. When I was reading the book to my English class, I loved reading the part when Aslan goes throughout the country gathering up workers for his army. It reminds me of how God gathers up His people to work in His army. What a perfect description of following after His leading...

I have included the video of this song. Enjoy! You probably want to turn my playlist off at the bottom of this blog.

http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=923b58718825672ad8ce

Phone calls and colds...

Good Monday to everyone!

I am SO glad that I am a teacher and that I have today off...ahh...

But don't be too jealous. I have a full day ahead of me. I have a couple days worth of Bible study to get done (if you have ever done a Beth Moore study, you know what I mean), a book for class to finish, and a trip to see the boys.

This is where I need prayer...

Jenny has called all weekend to ask advice for Aaron. He is not feeling well and has had a fever. I'm SO grateful that she has called me for advice--this is a good sign! In a little bit, I will be heading over to see the boys, pack them in the van, and bring them back to this side of town to see our doctor and then bring them home. Since the boys are on Medicaid, finding a doctor that will take them is difficult and since Aaron is sick we're taking him to our old doctor. This is completely God! The sinful side of me fights to be angry and bitter, but God is winning by taking over my heart by giving me opportunities to show love to Jenny. Please just pray that things go well and that a real relationship with Jenny is formed. There are also some other huge details that God is working out (I hope--in His perfect timing) that I am praying about, but those details will have to come later when God reveals Himself fully...just be praying for the church that Jenny might find in her neighborhood. I wish I could tell you what I know, but it will be much sweeter when the time comes. Just know that God is SO good and He is a God of details :)

Well that is all for now...I will keep ya'll updated on how things go today. Thank you so much for your prayers!!

Much love!

Esther

Last week it hit me that I have the free time to do a Bible study with other people--not just myself. I love doing Beth Moore studies, so I checked our church website and found a new study was starting. Since it's a Beth Moore study, I am guaranteed a lot of Bible time. Beth makes me excited to study God's word...and I love her accent mixed with her passion for God. Actually I find myself talking/teaching like she does. So watch out students!

Every Beth Moore study I have done, I find myself going through a "period of time" in life...obviously, my time in life now has been more difficult than others. She stated tonight that "coincidences are miracles in which God prefers to be anonymous". That statement spoke right to my heart! I love the story of Esther and I claimed her strength so many times when I was being called to testify in court for the boys. So I fully believe that it is not a coincidence that we are studying the book of Esther at this exact moment.

Beth also stated that we serve a God who doesn't always "part the Red Sea". Meaning, He doesn't always show Himself the way we think He might or even believe He might. So many people, and even myself, believed (fully believed) that the boys would remain with me. My Red Sea did not part. The boys are no longer with me...but God is here even when I can't hear Him speak to me. She stated that although the book of Esther has no mention of God, it is the manifestation of God in His people. We serve a big enough God to have an entire book in His word that makes no mention of Himself. That is humbled God.

So, with hope, I eagerly await the knowledge that I will gain from studying this great book.

Broken...

God says in Psalm 34:18 that, "I am close to the brokenhearted and save those who are crushed in spirit." My family has endured a lot this week...too many losses. I have been reading through the Psalms and this scripture stuck out with much hope that we serve a God who is close to us when we are broken...thank you God!

This has been tough. I have never been so sad, so tired, and without a plan. For twenty months I was the mother of two loving and adorable children, and I loved every minute. Due to life's demands, I quit many things...ministry in the church being one of them. I don't regret laying other responsibilities aside, I just find myself in a weird place in life now. It's weird and yet refreshing to be back at square one, trying to figure out what to do next. For the time being, I am sitting still waiting on His lead.

Last week, I was gone every night. This new found freedom can be intoxicating. However, today I found myself tired, sick and coming to terms with the quietness of my home. This was a good thing...I hope.

On Wednesday, I had coffee with my good friend Jill ...she is so strong. A true woman of God who has claimed victory over hardships. She reminded me of the need to be grateful for what God has given us. So here is what I am grateful for:

*That I had the boys for 20 months, which were filled with countless God moments. They are precious boys and I feel blessed to have been their mother. I know that God had them here for a reason and I trust that someday I will understand what that reason was...I pray for great and amazing things to come forth in their lives.

*For my family and friends who came over last Thursday night to say goodbye and to pray over the boys...there is strength in prayer!

*I am grateful that I was able to talk to the boys on Monday. This was so hard, but good all at the same time...

*I am thankful for my precious sister-in-law, Melissa, who came over and took pictures of the boys and I on their last day here...thanks Melissa!! and thanks for crying with me :)

*For my Mom and Daniel who came over on Monday and cleaned the boys' rooms and did the last bit of laundry for me...she knew I couldn't go into their rooms, she knew my heart, and served in the dearest way possible. Thanks mom and Daniel!

*For Amy who took the time to make two life books for the boys...you are an awesome aunt and sister!

*For Shannon and her scheduled prayer time for the boys. Thanks friend...

*For my movie night with Kristi...thanks for the tears! I've NEVER seen you cry in the theater!

*For my co-workers who were sensitive and patient with me...and no I wasn't on drugs :)...just tired.

*For Bridget and her willingness to stay after and workout with me and her steadfast friendship...where would I be without you friend!

*I'm really glad that my best friend lives in California, I can call her late at night :). I am grateful that I can just say that this pain sucks, and she completely knows what I mean because (unfortunately) she has been there too.

*I appreciate the distraction of great phone calls from a good friend from down south...wink!

Well tonight I am closing the day grateful for a God who is close to the brokenhearted. He is a God who is gentle and patient with me...

Here are a couple of pictures of the boys on their last day here...enjoy!